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처음에는 유창하지 않은 영어 실력으로 식사를 챙겨 먹는 것조차 쉽지 않았습니다. 그리고 피부색이 다른 사람들 속에서 순간순간 정말 혼자라는 생각이 들 때마다 한국에 있는 부모님과 친구들이 너무나 그리웠습니다. 거기에다가 미국이라는 나라는 세상 유혹이 너무나 많았으며, 그 유혹들은 저를 향해 너무나도 강한 손짓을 했습니다.
목사님의 말씀을 한 자 한 자 읽어가다가 그때서야 저는 깨달았습니다. ‘아! 내가 유학 전에 기도로 더 많이 준비를 했더라면 시작이 이렇게 어렵지는 않았을 텐데…. 항상 하나님을 일등으로 생각하고 기도의 끈을 놓지 말자.’저는 마음속 다짐하고 또 다짐했습니다. 그 후 세상적인 유혹이 저에게 다가올 때마다 목사님의 기도, 부모님의 격려 전화가 저를 바른 길로 갈 수 있도록 채찍질해 주었습니다. 힘든 유학생활은 오히려 하나님께서 항상 함께하신다는 사실을 경험하게 해주었으며, 하나님과 더욱더 가까워지는 계기가 되었습니다. 하나님께서는 유학생활 중 공부 환경이 더 좋은 학교로 편입할 수 있도록 인도해 주셨고 또 대학교 졸업 후에는 원하던 대학원으로의 진학을 선물로 주셨습니다.
모든 것이 장벽으로만 느껴졌던 유학생활. 이제 하나님께서 함께하신다고 생각하니 모든 것이 기회로, 벅찬 미래로 다가옵니다. 앞으로 만만치 않을 대학원 생활도 기도의 끈을 놓지 않으며, 하나님과 항상 함께하는 삶이 되도록 노력할 것입니다. 또한 유학생활을 하나님과 더욱더 가까워지는 계기로 삼고 주님께서 주신 비전을 향해 열심히 달려가겠습니다.
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그동안 주님의 은혜 안에서 명성교회와 당회장목사님 그리고 부모님의 기도 덕분에 힘든 2년간의 유학생활을 아무 탈 없이 잘 지낼 수 있었습니다. 앞으로 남은 유학생활도 성도님들의 기도가 더욱 필요하기에 저의 기도제목을 나누고 싶습니다.
2년 동안의 유학생활이 힘들기만 한 것은 아니었습니다. 오히려 주님만 더 의지하며 기도할 수 있었던 은혜의 시간이기도 했습니다. 그리고 주님 없이는 아무것도 할 수 없다는 것과 부모님이 항상 곁에 계셔서 존재를 크게 느끼지 못 한 것, 당회장목사님의 은혜가 넘치는 말씀이 얼마나 소중한 것인지를 마음 깊이 깨닫게 된 시간이었습니다.
매사에 씩씩하게 최선을 다하며, 당회장목사님께서 저희들을 위해 기도하시는 대로 세계 열방에 하나님의 영광을 높이는 자녀가 되도록 노력하겠습니다.
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